Studies suggest that 53 percent of women who are cheated on forgive their partners, in the hope that they won’t make the same mistake again.
However, sadly, it seems that the evidence is stacked against them. Cheating is more of a habit than we may want to believe.
We spoke to four experts, a life coach, a clinical psychiatrist, a relationships expert, and a sexpert, discussing the subject of cheating with each. Interestingly, each professional came to a slightly different conclusion — illustrating the ambiguity of the issue and the real difficulty in labeling someone a cheat for life.
Tracey Cox, a sex and relationships expert and star of Channel 4’s “The Sex Inspectors,” however, certainly had a clean-cut view: Once a cheater, always a cheater.
“Ask yourself these questions: What’s their cheating history? If they’ve cheated on every person they’ve ever been out with and been forgiven for doing so, why should they stop?” says Tracey.
“It might cause you problems, but it’s working for them. A true serial cheater will often see nothing wrong with being unfaithful. The problem with giving second chances is this: Once you forgive bad behavior, you effectively condone it.
“If your partner has a history of being unfaithful and forgiven, or they’ve done it to you repeatedly, they will almost certainly continue to cheat.”
Shockingly, 45 percent of men admit to cheating on a partner, as compared with 21 percent of women.
However, clinical psychiatrist Richard Reid, who specializes in relationship issues and therapies, says things aren’t as clear-cut as Tracey suggests.
“It’s simplistic to suggest that everyone who has had an affair will definitely cheat again,” he explains. “While some people’s personalities are certainly predisposed towards repeat behaviour, the vast majority of affairs happen because people are emotionally overwhelmed and under-resourced to properly acknowledge and address their negative feelings.”
He’s view is that people cheat because they are struggling to deal with a whole load of emotional baggage. Infidelity is rarely the result of a momentary lapse in judgment or an attraction to someone else. But does that make it any more forgivable?
Richard suggests that the motivations that drive cheating can be addressed and solved to prevent this repeat behavior.
“With the right guidance and support, people can develop greater self-awareness and better coping strategies,” he says. Hence, they have the potential to learn to be better partners as a result.”
Source: Yahoo News
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