Someone recently asked what piece of advice I’d give this guy, my 22-year-old self. First I’d tell him he’d look better in clothes that fit, and then I’d tell him to get a mentor. Not having one was my biggest career mistake.
Throughout my twenties I thought I’d get promotions and get paid more if I worked harder than everyone else. I even held on to this naive belief as I watched everyone but me advance. Eventually I discovered there was a game being played all around me. How could I have been so clueless?
Somehow we’re supposed to know how to play this game, but no one ever teaches us how. That’s where a mentor comes in. I got one – no, actually two – and it changed everything. They taught me how to navigate the tricky world of office politics, and they told me exactly what to focus my energy on. I did everything they said, and opportunities started opening up for me – my career finally took off.
Here’s what a great mentor will do for you:
Provides brutally honest feedback
Raises the bar
Holds you accountable
Knows what will work, and what won’t
Don’t make the same mistake I did and try to do these things on your own, you can’t. Instead, get a mentor right now so you can get ahead. I’ll show you how.
HOW TO GET A MENTOR
According to the New Yorker, when New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was 14, he heard George Kean, a member of the New Jersey state legislature, speak at his junior high school. When Christie came home he told his mother he wanted to be a politician. She drove him over to Kean’s house and made him knock on the door.
“Sir, I heard you speak. I think I want to get into politics. How do I do it?”
“I’m going up to speak in Bergen county tonight. Why don’t you come with me and see if you like it?”
That single road trip lead to Kean becoming Christie’s mentor. Christie worked on Kean’s gubernatorial campaigns, and in return Kean wrote the letter of recommendation for Christie when he was nominated by George W. Bush to be the U.S. Attorney for New Jersey. When Christie ran for governor, Kean was the first to endorse him.
All Christie did was knock on the door and ask, and that’s all you need to do, too. Here are five key pointers to make sure you’re successful:
1. Brainstorm a list of 5-10 potential mentors. My best mentors were about five years ahead of me in my career, over-achievers, and people I admired. You’ll want to make sure they have the position, skill set, or experience you want. It doesn’t matter how you find them – at your company, in your professional network, a friend of a friend – but it helps if you can meet with them face-to-face.
2. Email them. These days you don’t have to be creepy and knock on their door. I’ll walk you through the exact email script to use.
3. Compliment them. You’re contacting this person because you know they do something particularly well, so tell them what that is.
Subject: Quick question
Hi Jack,
I wanted to drop you a quick note because I admire the way you operate in meetings. Your charisma and confidence are always on point.
4. Tell them what you want. They’re busy, so get to the point by explaining who you are and what you want.
Right now I’m an analyst, which I know is where you started your career. I’m interested in following a path similar to yours, so I’d love to get some guidance and advice from you.
5. Make it easy for them to say yes. Don’t ask them to be your mentor, it’s too formal, and they don’t want another commitment. Let them know how much of their time you’re after, and that you’ll do all the work.
If you’re interested, I’d love to pick your brain over coffee or at your office. Then I’d ping you maybe every few months for a quick follow-up. Is this possible?
Thank you,
Chris
If you don’t hear back in two weeks, send them a follow-up email:
Hi Jack, just floating this to the top of your inbox.
Do this by replying to the original email you sent.
THREE MISTAKES TO AVOID
Once you’ve agreed to an initial meeting, make sure you avoid these mistakes when building the relationship:
1. Being annoying. When the relationship is new, the temptation is to email them questions every day expecting one-day turnarounds. You’re not the center of their universe, they are, so keep it casual. Meet with them every few months, and let them know when you’ll reach out to schedule the next meeting.
2. Not preparing. You’ll waste everyone’s time if you’re not prepared when you meet, so make sure you bring a list of questions, problems, or topics you want to cover. A good framework to follow: what you achieved since you last met, what setback or challenge you’re facing, and what approaches you might take.
3. Disappearing. When you receive tactical guidance or advice make sure you implement it, then close the loop with a quick email:
Jack,
I took your advice about [my problem] and tried [your solution]. I got [result]. Just wanted to share this win with you.
Thanks much,
Chris
They’ll appreciate knowing you took action, and how it turned out.
This is the part where I tell you I wouldn’t be where I am without reaching out to people I admired, and asking them for help. Reading books and websites about getting ahead in your career is a good place to start. They can get you pretty far. But if you want to propel your career (and your money) even further then you need a mentor right now, and throughout life
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